September 20, 2010

Ever feel akward and so out of place?

This weekend was a sad one.    It was unfortunately the anniversary of the death of a woman who I loved like a Mother.  Who I had the honour and priviledge of calling "Mom".  The day was bittersweet.   So after wiping up my tears I ventured out to do what makes me feel better - head out with my camera.  Now on days like this when I don't have any paying customers or willing "volunteers", my daughter is my human guinea pig.   She is my model and muse.  So off we went.   She is a beautiful young girl so capturing the beauty of her is easy.

Now comes the akward and out of place time.....we had a lot of social activites this weekend.   We were at one this weekend where I have never felt so out of place.   One would figure as you get older that social situations with a bunch of strangers would get easier.  I am an outgoing person - I talk to anyone and everyone wherever I go but at this particular event I felt out of place.  We weren't "one of them".  

So what makes me feel better when I feel out of sorts?  Depressed?  Not included?  Just not myself?  Photographs.   I sat down with my laptop and I edited pictures.  That makes me happy. 

I still shed some tears before bed for missing my "other Mom", I still felt like an "outsider" with the one event we attended, I appreciated the others we went to but more importantly I got out with my camera.   I spent my not feeling good time working on pics so I went to sleep happy.  Photography makes me happy.

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